5 Minutes to Benefit Your Future Self

Last week I had the same conversation with 2 clients who had expressed frustration at not being able to find time to do some movement when they wanted.  One who worked long hours and was unable to find the time to get to a class and the other needed to do rehab type exercises to keep unwinding an issue in her body and had lost the motivation to spend 45 minutes a few days a week to do her programme.  In both cases we talked about finding their key to maintaining a simple, short habit to make the progress they wanted.  

The major thing I have worked on personally and aim to encourage in my clients is that any conscious movement is beneficial and bringing in 5 minutes of movement every day will massively benefit your future self.  I mostly find that we are all so busy that if we aim to set aside 45 mins - 1 hour, 3 times a week to do a load of strength and rehab exercises, plus add in let’s say a yoga class, a circuit session and a run we would basically be working part time and never seeing our children just to fit it all in!  And that’s assuming there’s a choice of classes we like nearby and at times we can get to, which is highly unlikely.

As busy women and mothers we need to take what we can get and for the most part that’s 5 - 15 minutes in the morning before the kids get up or we need to get in the shower before the start of the day.  Here are my top tips of advice for setting up this habit:

1. You are highly unlikely to do anything at the end of the day.  Unless your baby is still feeding and you struggle to have time unattached in the morning I have consistently found it unlikely that my clients and I will have the energy and the motivation by the end of the day to do anything so make time in the morning and that may mean going to bed 15 - 30 mins earlier in the evening.

2. Make the habit easy to set up - have any equipment you need right there, almost in a place you’ll fall over it so you don’t need to go searching for a resistance band or mat if you need them.

3. Despite what I said in 2) you do not need any special equipment or a specially designated space.  Yes a resistance band might be helpful, a yoga mat so you stick to the surface you’re on is nice, but really you can do conscious movement in a space no bigger than your body size in standing, in your pants and no equipment at all.  You know this, but we often give ourselves the excuse that we’re not wearing the right clothes, haven’t eaten the right thing, don’t have our hair right, it’s not quite the right time etc. Actually we don’t need anything, right now is the right time (unless you’re operating heavy machinery of course!).

4. If you have “rehab” exercises to do - and by that I mean exercises that will help you get stronger by engaging and activating sleepy muscles, untwisting imbalances and doing those small pelvic floor, glute and abdominals exercises we all need to do to be able to go and work the big stuff - then write out a list of all of them, for example 12-15 of them and do exercises 1-3 on day 1, 4-6 on day 2, 7-9 on day 3 etc etc.

5. One major key to doing your habit is attaching it to some other thing you do each day - cleaning your teeth, putting the kettle on, getting out of bed and then always doing this new habit at that time.  Be specific about it, “every time I put the kettle on first thing in the morning I’ll do 10 reps of single leg squats each side” or “while I brush my teeth each morning I will stretch my calves on the step in the bathroom for the same amount of time”.

6. Another key is to find the gateway to that habit.  What I mean is, there is a point at which you have a choice to either do your new habit or not, the point at which you’ll hit the snooze button again, scroll on your phone some more or sit down on the sofa never to get back up again. When you find that gateway you’ll know that the creation of the habit is not the doing of the exercises, how many reps or even what exercises you’re going to do but making that decision to do it at that gateway.  For me that gateway is getting out of bed without touching my phone.  If I turn my phone on it’s game over, I’ll look at my messages, check in on social media and that’s 15 minutes wasted.  If I get out of bed without touching it I know I’ll just get on with what I want to actually do which is take steps to get stronger.  See if you can find your gateway to your new habit and make that clear in your strategy.

7. Five minutes is better than nothing, and 10 squats or 2 core exercises are 10 squats more than you would have done if you’d have thought it wasn’t worth it.  It is worth it, always.  Showing up day after day and showing yourself that you are worth that small moment in time is a consistent step towards the strong and resilient person you are becoming.

Personally, I have chosen to alternate between rehab exercises and a simple yoga sequence each day. I found last year that I got bored of the same rehab exercises each day so I do as I said in point 4 above and then alternate with a yoga flow I make up every other morning.  This keeps it interesting and focusses my attention on the rehab days to really make best use of that time.  You may need to spend some weeks/months working out what works best for you and try different options out.

360 Breathing for Great Foundations

In the first week of my online course and in the first session I see clients in person we always investigate what’s going on with their breathing - where they breathe from, where they feel their breath moving, where it doesn’t move and what’s the interaction with the pelvic floor especially as they begin to move and load their body.  Why start with breathing? And what does it matter?

For some women in the post-natal phase their breath gets stuck into only going forward because their mid-back gets tight and the hangover from carrying a baby means they are more open at the front. This can lead to some back pain and aches, a tendency to overuse the shoulders to help lift the ribs at the front and a change in the way the head and pelvis align to support the body. 

By encouraging the breath to expand the ribs in all directions - 360 breath - we are getting more movement in the side and back ribs and everything feels a bit more comfortable. It also means the abdominals can do the work they need to when we need them - picking up a child, lifting something heavy on one side, pushing furniture or just doing our jobs and daily life - if we have the physical resilience to breath and brace at the same time then we can create strength when we need it and not just when we are in a super controlled position. So first of all we work on feeling the breath all round the ribs with various ways of creating feedback to aid that feeling, then we make it more challenging - moving in and out of standing, kneeling, curling and flexing positions - and then add in load with spring resistance or holding weights or a moving surface.

The benefit I see with clients as we progress, and as I’ve seen with my own body, is we are able to stand taller, breathe deeper and longer and have more feeling and connection in the pelvic floor.  This means that we are able to experience the full range of loading on the pelvic floor - expansion on the breath in, and contraction/connection on the breath out - which helps massively when it comes to understanding any issues, changes in function as we age or through the monthly cycle and our response to different situations.

So how do you feel a 360 breath?  I always start lying down with knees bent, feet flat, however you can also do this sitting right back into a chair with your back supported.  Put your hands on the sides of your ribs with fingers forward and thumbs back.  Now breathe in nice and deeply and feel where it goes.  You want to feel an even inflation of your ribs into your fingers at the front, your palms at the sides and your thumbs at the back.  It may be that you don’t feel much movement into your thumbs, as I said above this is common due to posture changes in pregnancy.  Awareness is key here, so understanding that you don’t feel an even expansion is the first step, then aim to move your ribs more and expand more, and you can get into positions which will help shut down the front or sides of your ribs in order to feel the sticky areas a bit more.   This deep squat position will help to shut down the front so you have no choice but to breathe into the back even more.

Happy New Year - and a New You? No thanks, you’re perfect just the way you are!

What does 2020 hold in store for you?

Looking through my emails and social feeds there are either messages of promotion for new diets, new workouts with “incredible/intense/amazing results” or messages saying not to change anything, don’t fall for all the “New Year, New You” BS. Have you noticed that too? 

What if you do want to take the opportunity of a clear January to start something you’ve always wanted, or to create a change in your life to benefit you in the long term? How do you negotiate the noise in all this messaging then?

I think it’s pretty safe to say we know now that “fad” diets don’t work - that is ones that are restrictive, change your eating, juice only, skinny tea, massive food group removal or ones based on being a better version of yourself.  Let’s just go over that again - fad diets DON’T WORK!

I know you know deep down that sensible eating, consciously and without waste, moderate, varied movement that suits your body and getting enough sleep, relaxation, time outdoors and connection with others every day are what we need to be healthy and happy in our bodies and minds.  It’s not rocket science and you don’t need special tech, fancy clothing, another fitness or food tracking app or super expensive gym membership. Sometimes what we need is a better strategy to go about our weeks and create habits that are long lasting - read on to find out more about the 1% strategy

Image taken from James Clear’s website (above) and information contained in this message from his book “Atomic Habits”

1% Changes to Create Successful Habits

In 2003 the fate of the British Cycling team changed forever.  Dave Brailsford was hired as a coach and began to implement tiny changes in behaviour and technology that took the team from only ever having won 1 gold medal at an olympics and never having won the Tour De France to winning 60% of the gold medals in the 2008 games, and gaining 5 out of 6 of Tour victories from 2013 onwards.  In fact during the ten-year span from 2007 to 2017, British cyclists won 178 world championships and 66 Olympic or Paralympic gold medals and captured 5 Tour de France victories in what is widely regarded as the most successful run in cycling history.

How did this extraordinary improvement happen?  And why is it relevant to you - someone who isn’t a professional cyclist?

Brailsford didn’t make a dramatic change in training plans, or dope his athletes up to the eyeballs to make them into superhumans.  He got them to wash their hands effectively everywhere they went so they reduced infections, and got them pillows and mattresses perfectly suited to each individual which they took with them everywhere so they slept better.  He had the inside of the team truck painted white to ensure they noticed any dirt or dust which would affect the fine tuned bikes and tested massage gel to make sure they used the most effective one for recovery.  These were among many other thousands of small changes.

On their own not a single one of these changes would have made a difference, but collectively and repeated month after month, year after year, these changes aggregated into a collective of 1000s of % improvements.

How is this relevant to you?

When you look to make any change, don’t think only the massive changes are worthwhile.  

• Waking up every morning and looking out your window to take in the sky and trees before opening your phone will help your mental wellbeing more easily than thinking “I have to meditate every day for 20 minutes or I’ll never reduce my stress levels”

• Drinking a glass of water every time before you make a caffeinated drink will help you stay more hydrated than vowing to never drink caffeine again.

• Packing your bag so you have the snacks and lunch you want for the next day in advance means you’re less likely to regret what you eat and drink at work.

• Having a little programme of movement that benefits your body to do each morning will help you feel more balanced, stronger and more mobile.  Prepare for success with this by committing to waking up 15 minutes earlier, make it friction free to carry this habit out by having the written programme, a mat and any pieces of equipment right there ready for you so you literally fall over it in the morning rather than it being packed away.

Remember that most of the significant things in life aren't stand-alone events, but rather the sum of all the moments when we chose to do things 1 percent better or 1 percent worse. Aggregating these marginal gains makes a difference.

PROGRESS - rough, ugly and never linear!

PROGRESS!

When my son was born 6 1/2 years ago I reckon I would have said I’d be doing events like in the photos above in no time.  I was strong, I had trained through my pregnancy, I had a good base and I felt great.  If I could just ignore and push through all the niggles and sicknesses and constant exhaustion I would be fine.  Everything would be fine, it’s all fine isn’t it?

Well no it wasn’t, I was slowly crumbling and instead of listening to what my body was trying to tell me I just pushed on until I hit a wall, and once I could function no more, that’s when I finally stopped and listened.  It was 3 years until I got moving again with any purpose.  Three years of bouncing from one alternative therapist to another working on diet, gut health, immune health, gentle physical support with manual therapy and also trying to sleep and rest as much as possible.

In the last 2 1/2 years I’ve been building myself back up from a point of actually feeling more healed.  It’s not a quick process, nor is it easy.  There’s no quick fix, no bounce back, no “if I could just be ….. sleeping 8 hours a night/drinking less/weigh a stone less/once the kids are in school/out of nappies/given up the dummy etc etc etc” it’s a process that moves with you through all those ups and downs, adapting and blending with the tussles of your life, a process in which you figure out how you can now move with the life and body you have right now.

This year I started running again.  I haven’t run and enjoyed it much before, and entering a 10k was quite a challenge especially as I got injured fairly soon after entering.  However what I did do is strength train a lot - rehab every day, strength circuits every other day, glute strength work every other day and walking in the hills with my dog 4 times a week.  I could only run for longer than 3 minutes at a time 2 weeks before the run but it didn’t affect me as much as I thought because running is so much more than running - it’s how your body works as a whole, it’s how you breathe, it’s how your glutes and hams and pelvic floor all work together.  

This weekend I entered the 4km River Arun swim, a swim that goes with the tidal flow with 500 participants all on a mass start.  I had panicked quite a lot about it before the race, that my wetsuit was too tight, that I wouldn’t be able to breathe properly, that I hadn’t trained enough to swim that far.  All the panicking got me through, the psyche before the race helped spur me on and in the end I had a lovely, smooth swim for 1 hour and 4 mins.

My point is progress isn’t fast, it’s definitely not linear and it sure as hell isn’t smooth.  It’s rough and ugly, filled with tears and pain and anguish, you need help and support from those around you and those in the know and you need to believe in your power.  I definitely lost faith for a good while there but I’m here to tell you now, I thought I couldn’t do this again, I thought I was too broken to push myself hard again, but I can and I did, and I loved it!

Period Power

This week in class I had two conversations with clients that got me thinking about our knowledge around our own bodies. I always encourage my clients to be the advocates of their own health especially, of course, when it comes to pelvic floor dysfunction and any musculoskeletal issues, however I realised this week the scale of the issue when we consider our menstrual cycle as well. 

One client was complaining of severe period pains keeping her up at night - ironic as her baby was now sleeping better - which was a new issue since she had her first baby 14 months ago, and the other has had long standing issues with not being listened to about the pain she experiences with endometriosis and limited treatment prospects offered, mainly “let’s whip out your uterus, that’ll solve everything”!!!

Thankfully this week I also got Maisie Hill’s new book “Period Power” https://www.maisiehill.com

https://amzn.to/2LEDdL9

which is “the handbook to periods and hormones that will leave you wondering why the hell nobody told you this sooner”.  I LOVE this book, it’s loaded with science backed information and age old wisdom alike (also mainly because there is such a shockingly limited amount of research into “women issues”), it goes carefully through each part of your cycle and also the areas that could be of concern - changing phases in life, and “when things fall apart”.

When it comes to exercise it’s important that we all listen to our bodies and our response to various stressors in life to work out what’s energising you and what’s draining you.  Sometimes we can’t avoid the drains, but we do have a choice when it comes to exercise and that can change week by week in our cycle.  I have certainly noticed that on the 4th day before my period starts I have a limited amount of energy, I can do just what’s needed and little else, that’s my day to take a lie down when I have a spare 15 minutes as often I just need to get off my feet and let my body rest even if just for a short time.  I also notice that I’m much more unstable in the days around the start of my period and so any strength work I do then is based on stabilising and supporting not on stretching or really pushing it.  This is my experience, it may not be yours, we all have different balances of oestrogen and progesterone as well as other androgenic and stress hormones that will affect us and how we respond.  My greatest tip in this area is to get tracking.  You can use a period tracker app on your phone or just the notes section, I use “Period Tracker” but there is also Flo, Clue and Eve which seem to be similar - the important thing is being able to actually record various factors really easily - your cycle, your mood, your feelings, your activity level response, your energy, possibly your temperature and your cervical fluids if you are interested in getting pregnant or avoiding it.  

Another brilliant app is Fitr Woman: https://www.fitrwoman.com  which is especially designed to help women get more from their training by recording their cycle and then giving training plans and nutritional tips to get the best results. If you are serious about your training this is the app for you.

In the first phase of your cycle - “Winter” when you are having your period - exercise helps to reduce symptoms from cramps and keeping moving feels much better for most of us than staying still.  You may not feel like doing anything too heavy, I’d strongly suggest keeping away from the heavy weights, HIIT sessions or Crossfit, but something very nourishing like a walk in nature especially with someone you love will help you to pass this time without depleting yourself.  As I mentioned above, it’s a time to focus on rest and recuperation so do as your body feels and don’t get frustrated by it - all your gains are made next week.  If you are in serious strength training, your needs may be different, you may want to keep lifting and training hard.  Strength capacity is potentially not affected but your response may need to be monitored to check you are not causing further depletion.

“Spring” or your Warrioress phase: this is the time to go for it, you will have a greater training capacity and can make greater gains with more energy, less muscle fatigue and an easier recovery.  This is the week to do HIIT sessions, more intense weights sessions and so on and you may also feel more like doing multiple activities in a day.

“Summer” phase: in the 3rd week (ish) of your cycle from pre-ovulation to a few days after, this is a changing time when you feel full of beans and ready to run that 10k challenge or do 3 circuits of that HIIT class you sometimes struggle with, however around your ovulation it has been shown that ligament laxity can increase offering a potential for injury if you are doing, for example, a trail run on downhill paths or a football/rugby game on a grass pitch.  Just something to watch out for, maybe laxity might be something you would notice and track if you are susceptible to mobile joints or pain related to instability.

“Autumn” phase or your Sorcoress phase: this is the part of your cycle helping you to go inward, connecting to yourself, nature and spirituality and you might notice yourself detaching and withdrawing.  Tracking your feelings and responses may help you to monitor this so that you don’t feel like a highly depressive crazy person or a hermit who doesn’t actually like people - this is completely normal, and understanding what’s normal for you is the important thing.  You may be fine about exercising just as you like, you may find this is a good week for you to keep some consistency, however it is also a week to really notice and feel your responses as you may feel sluggish which might mean yoga, swimming and brisk, invigorating walk outside, or really getting lost in dancing to some music you really connect to is the best thing for you.  As I mentioned above, my experience of this phase is that I need to rest well to get the best out of myself and that rest can help for the following phases of your cycle as well.

I hope you found this very brief guide useful and interesting, I’d love to hear your comments and own experiences, especially if this is new information to you and like my clients you’ve just thought you ought to just “push on through”.  I encourage you to take back the power of your cycle now!

How does your movement practice serve you?

When clients come to see me and they want to start progressing their strength and build on what they learn in class I always suggest doing some work at home.  Fairly obviously most people don’t have time or the money or the energy to come to a class daily and I don’t think that would be great for you anyway.  What I do think helps is chipping away at strength foundations every day if that’s possible for you. I definitely don’t mean for an hour every day, and I definitely don’t mean an intense session more than 3 times a week, maybe even less. 

What to consider when starting/committing to a movement practice:

1) Know Yourself! Personally I really struggle with high intensity exercise - maybe I used up all my intense sessions when I was rowing and doing CrossFit and I’ve got none left now? If you respond well and feel great after intense sessions, that’s great, monitor the best response you get from your body with how many per week suits you - 4 may be too many and leave you depleted, 1 may be too few as it may make you feel a bit sluggish in each session. Again this is my personal experience:  I do respond well to strength workouts, I am slightly hypermobile so I need more strength than anything else (hence Pilates and not yoga for me). Some women come in and talk to me saying they do circuits or running or something similar and feel a bit wobbly and are in pain afterwards, or drained and exhausted but don’t recognise this. At the time I was doing it, Crossfit was not a good workout system for me, I would get constantly injured and feel sore and depleted for days after each session.

2) Does your routine serve you well? If you are recently post-natal or coming out of the pre-school years and now wanting to focus on yourself, monitor how your pelvic floor, abdominals and any shoulder and back pain responds to the new exercise/movement regime. If you are in pain or have issues with leaking or a pooch tummy, don’t accept this as your new normal or just how it will be because of having babies, your movement practice should serve to strengthen and benefit you, helping you to build foundations in the right way, not in a more depleting way causing any further issues. If you start leaking, feel more weak in your centre, have lasting shoulder, neck or back pain and aren’t able to move well in your daily life, take some time to think about your movement practice and whether there might be something there that isn’t working for you.

3) “Listen to the whispers so you don’t have to hear the shouts”!!  After years of struggling to find the right way, I’ve built, over time, better foundations, which I continue to work on all the time: breathing, pelvic floor awareness, rib mobility, spine elongation, glute strength, and now I can build overall strength and dynamics on top of that. Take care not to go in hard straight away, getting over enthused by being unleashed into the world of movement after feeling like your body belongs to someone else for a few years. I totally understand the thinking, it feels so good to move, but this is also a moveable feast, your response to movement will change daily, weekly, monthly and so some exercise will suit you one day and feel all kinds of wrong the next. Of course our menstrual cycle affects that, as well as the physical demands we have from others day to day, as a woman ending her child bearing life phase and moving on to the next we also have influences from post-birthing and feeding hormones as well as the coming peri-menopause symptoms. You may have to become more aware of your needs and responses as you go on.

4) What to do and how often? My personal commitment and what works for me is to do a max 10 minute glute mini workout often in front of the TV in the evening or between working on admin stuff during the day and then 2-3 longer workouts like this one ☝🏼 each week. I’ll do my rehab stuff as often as possible too (there’s always something needing doing) and I run with my dog, as long as I’m not injured, twice a week - this is often a walk and not a run, always on trails and hilly or rough ground. This works for me as I know I can fit in at least 2 longer sessions each week on days that I work less, and I know that if I don’t do some extra glute work through the week, my hips and back get achy and tired, and I need the correct support from my core to be able to move, sit while working for long periods, and do my job. The running happens if I can because I might as well use the time I walk my dog to do a bit of extra sweating. I put no pressure on myself with this, running is not my natural thing, but I do love the enjoyment of moving faster than walking, sweating and pushing myself a bit.

When you are looking at this you may think, “oh I could never do something every day” or “I could never do 2 longer sessions, I just don’t have the time”, so this is where you look at what time you do have, what you’d really love to do, who you could ask to support you to be able to choose that option (see previous blog post) and maybe what you might have to give up to make that commitment. Often if we look at it, there are slack times in our day when we don’t need to spend half an hour scrolling Instagram ( yes, me too, it’s a sap!) or an hour watching TV in the evening - actually a useful time to consciously move. I’ve had good responses with women willing to do a short circuit while cooking dinner in the evening - the trick here is being prepared so you’re at least in comfortable clothes ready to move when you have the opportunity.

5) Values - in the end your choice of movement comes down to your values for yourself. Where do you want to get to? What does your future look like and your ideal week of movement entail if time and money were no object? Moving in a nourishing way is a show of self-love, loving yourself enough to honour the adventure that you and your body have been in through your life, showing yourself how brilliant you are for housing, nourishing and nurturing another human and giving yourself the space to rebuild with all that you have experienced inside you now.

Have you found your way with your workout/exercise/sport/movement routine? Are you struggling to work things out? Do you want help and to find a way?

As a post-natal corrective exercise specialist I see women 1-1 in both my studio in Sussex and online from anywhere in the world, get in touch to chat over your needs and how I can help you.

What do you really need ... and how to get it

Image courtesy of: Catie Atkinson, Spiritysol

Writing this from my breakfast table on the terrace outside the lovely holiday house we rented in Tenerife, its a funny thing to be thinking about “needs”.  This particularly phase of life is pretty near perfect - husband around for a whole 8 days, plenty of sunshine, kids happily playing safely and we have miraculously found somewhere with 2 other children the same age as ours for them to be entertained by.  However, the reality is this escapist week is the tonic to our full tilt lives, with my husband commuting for nearly 4 hours each day, me teaching 16 classes a week plus all the extra admin and life stuff, and our kids doing after school activities on all but 1 weekday.  I have had a few new clients recently coming in talking about how they’d like to be doing more to help themselves get stronger, but they just can’t find the time, or my client who hasn’t had a full nights sleep in 4 1/2 years whilst her husband has not helped out.  One of the most powerful tools I learnt that helped me break through the cycle of needing - feeling unfulfilled - feeling resentful - expressing anger - was the realisation that I could ask for what I needed and those who were able to support wanted to help.  Most of the issue as a Mum who has her finger on the pulse of everything in the household is that we don’t let go easily.  Think of the last time you went out for a bit and left your partner in charge - did you micro-manage the entire time so they had food, things to do, washing already done and clothes already laid out?  Or did you just leave the house?  For those with little kids I suspect the answer is the former, I know I wasn’t alone!

Asking for support with what we need is a fundamental change of tack for a previously independent woman who didn’t really need someone else’s help just so she could go to do some food shopping alone, or buy a nice top for a party so she felt good about herself.  I believe learning how to express what we need and want can change our own lives and of those around us.

I learnt through the One Of Many coaching system that writing a “needs creed” is the first step, so here I am passing that tool on to you. 

Write out a list of all the things you need/want/desire  - anything and everything from water, fresh air, daily movement, a massage, an evening out with girlfriends, a good book, 8 hours sleep, going for a walk by yourself, regular sex, an evening spent talking with your partner, individual time with your kids, going to see a therapist because you need some extra help, getting a cleaner etc etc.  You can write as much as you can possibly think about and in no particular order to begin with.  Then divide your list into “essential needs”, “wants” and “desires” - your essentials are those things that you would not feel complete and fulfilled without, for example, it might be essential to you that you are able to take one evening a month to chat to or connect with your best friends in some way and without that you’d feel adrift, or moving in your most nourishing, chosen way at least 3 times a week otherwise you’ll feel sluggish and foggy.  You shouldn’t feel that anything is a luxury and not really a need or that you feel selfish writing these down - if you feel that is what makes you, you and you wouldn’t feel your whole self without it then it’s a need.  Your “wants” are things that are slightly down on that list, for example, a new top to help you feel better about your breastfeeding boobs, or a massage once a month, these are things you can get by without but you may spend your time feeling resentful if you are not able to make room in your life for them.  Your desires might be things that are visions for the future, or wants that you have for the way you will be living.  Not “once I lose 5kgs I will ...” but things like “I need 8 hours sleep, our baby hasn’t slept through yet, I don’t think it’ll happen tomorrow, it might take a while, how do we get there?” Aim towards the positive desires rather than negative outcomes - I want to feel healthier, not I want to be slimmer - then your goal orientation will always be positive rather than negative.

Once you have your list, the fun begins, this is where you get to involve others.  Write next to each need/want/desire what that looks like to you - eg. Water - 6 pints every day (especially if you’re breastfeeding), sleep - in bed by 9:30, lights out at 10pm every night, movement - that yoga class you love every Saturday morning, or that online workout programme you’ve been considering that’ll cost £20 a month.  Then work out who can help you with this and ASK them.  Sleep is the most fundamental, important and potentially contentious one here, if you are up in the night with babies, up at the crack of dawn with them as well and then have to entertain them during the day and your partner comes home at 8pm preferring you to eat together when he/she is back, and then he/she will watch TV and chat with you until at least 10/11pm and so you don’t get into bed until 11:30/12pm, this is a pattern that is not serving you.  You and your partner have different needs, and whilst I sympathise with wanting to connect together at the end of the day, there are other ways to do this other than eating late together and going to bed late together.  Talk to your partner about what you need “I need to get more sleep, I’m so tired, and feeling depleted” then show them what they can do to help “I would love it if you could help me by encouraging me to go to bed at 9:30pm, it would help me feel so good and happy” and how this could work “I would like to eat dinner with the kids so that I’m not eating late, then I’d love to sit and chat about our days when you eat later on” then check in if that could work for them “what do you think, how would that work for you?”

No-one would refuse you this, the people around you want to help, would love to facilitate an easier life for you, and need the specifics - no more assuming they will “just know” or wondering why they can’t just tell what you need!  Do you need time to go to a class each week? Who can help - a Mum friend, a neighbour, a relative, your partner - you never know until you ask, try it out, adapt as you go along, you are not alone.  It does take a village to raise a child, sometimes it’s not obvious what that village looks like, or who is in your particular village, and sometimes you need to build it, but it’s there.

All that junk!

Fergie working it with Will.i.am in the “My Humps” official video

So many songs have been written about the shape of a woman’s derriere we can be reminded fairly frequently that having some “junk in your trunk” is a good way to go.  Whether your butt is big or small the most important thing is that the muscles within work really well as those muscles are pretty central to everything else that happens in the body.  As a Mum the tendency is for our butt muscles to sag (let’s face it, everything else is!!) and “Mum Bum” becomes an actual reality, often accompanied by low back pain, pelvic floor weakness and posture changes through the rest of the body.  Now I don’t care what your butt or mine looks like, what I care about is that the flat look indicates underused muscles and when your buttocks are underused your whole system is not working cohesively - your buttocks are 3 set of gluteal muscles, plus a number of deep hip rotators in the pelvis most recognisably, collectively called your “glutes” and they attach in and across the pelvis and out to the hip joint, also connecting with the fascia (connective tissue) of the quad, hamstring and hip flexor muscles and upwards they connect with the fascia of the lower back, core system and large shoulder organising/moving muscles of the lats.  Plus very importantly when in comes to the movement Mums do and need to do on the daily, the glutes/deep hip rotators are completely connected with the pelvic floor - tight glutes = tight pelvic floor / weak glutes = weak pelvic floor.  In general terms we know that all muscles in the body are connected but the glutes/buttock muscles drive movement up into the trunk and upper body and down through the hip, knee and into your ankle.  So if you have a weak ankle that often rolls, look to strengthen the glutes, and if you have a clunky, hard to strengthen shoulder, look to work on exercises that strengthen both the glutes and shoulders together keeping in mind the fascial connection between the 2 areas.  

When it comes to the pelvic floor and the glutes connection, there are 3 things you can consider:

1. How do you stand?  The standard playground posture for Mums is hips swayed forwards, knees locked back and ribcage dropped back and down - when you’re tired and this is your 4000th trip to the park that week you go into energy saving mode which means hanging off your hips.  The problem is to do this posture your glutes stay squeezed on all the time and they are not those sorts of muscles, they don’t like being switched on all the time so they get weakened by holding that position.  When we stand with hips pressed forwards it also means the pelvic floor is locked on and unable to relax or contract. 

2. How you use your glutes.  As I’ve said above, the most important thing with the glutes is whether you are “switching them on and off”. Your glute muscles work best - and that means support your body and help it function well - when they go from some stretch to some contraction.  To really wake the glutes up we need to stretch them in all directions they can go: twist, lengthen and flex, and then contract them in all ways.  During strengthening exercises and movements we need to set the body up so that the pelvis is in a “neutral” position to be able to help the glutes lengthen and then work and we work the whole buttock muscle group in 3 dimensions as frequently as possible - think of the actions football and rugby players do around a pitch: side to side, sprinting fast, jogging slow, one leg standing, jumping and diving.  I’m not saying that’s the only way to get good working glutes, but if you only work your muscles by going forwards to stand/sit, walk, occasionally jog and also stand with poor posture, your glutes are not going to be working optimally.

3. Glutes = pelvic floor. If you go to squat, sit on a chair or the toilet, walk up stairs, bend down to load the dishwasher, pick up toys from the floor, or go to pick your kids up you are using your glutes/pelvic floor over and over again.  As we now know from all the above, we want our glutes to work well when we do use them so that means going through the squat movement with a fairly “neutral” spine, hinging at the hip joint instead of tucking the pelvis under (which would be the pelvis moving rather than the hip joint) and then lengthening through the back of the legs and glutes while you bend down/squat/sit which gets the glutes/pelvic floor in the right place to work strongly as you stand up.  This is especially important if you are holding a load - a large, screaming toddler for example - as you don’t want your pelvic floor to be in a weak position causing leaking, or for it to tighten up too much as a reaction to poor patterning so while the pressure builds up in your abdominal cavity it presses down on your pelvic floor causing you to be susceptible to prolapse.

If you have low back pain, can feel tightness or weakness in your pelvic floor, or get aches and pains in your hips, knees and feet, making glute strengthening (with the right form) a priority will be a major part of your rehab, preferably under guidance.